Saturday, January 1, 2011


Well, this New Year is starting off very well. Guess who is running like a charm? Yep, Loser Grande!

Not only that, but what a perfect opportunity to give the Loser a cleaning. Particular-Poppy put the contents back in the fridge so everything is filed her mind. Like the dishwasher, I now have to follow a strict food-filing system cause with Particular-Poppy, it's all about systems! The strange thing I've noticed over the years is that our fridge contains mostly condiments. Heavy on the pickled products. Hmmm.

Okay, so our New Years dinna consisted of our favorites...for me, Kraft Macaroni and Cheese Family Style Deluxe with peas and for Poppy, a whole dungeness crab, salad and a side of the mac-n-cheese. OMG so NOMMMMMMM!

The following subject is not for the faint of heart, but it's a story that must be told...

This is Jax's Butt:

Bad, stinky things come from it. For those of you who have a dog, you will know what I'm talking about when I say that a certain glandular event happens in a dog's butt. We've all seen the familiar sight of a dog dragging its bee-hind along the ground and that can only mean one thing, you need a vet tech, latex gloves, some petroleum jelly and a service that costs about $20 to perform.

Anyway, I-Can-Do-That-Kelly figures she can do this service for free and had the vet tech show her how to do it. Why would I want to do this stinky job you ask? Because one of the special things we learned about Jax shortly after adopting her is that she has some over-productive glandular issues so we need to perform the service on a regular basis and I ain't putting out $20 ever stinkin time!

So, we're sitting there last night enjoying our NYE champagne and Jax decided to let go a little NYE treat...on Poppy's pants. This means it's "bath time" for Jax and her stinky ass. In the process of picking up the little stink-pot, I knocked over my champagne. I left Poppy to clean it up...while she was cleaning up my sticky champagne mess, she knocked hers over too.

Jax's butt smells like a rose...our chairs smell like the day after a boozy party!

So a couple of weeks ago, you may recall that Fatass and LuvBacon went to buy fat pants. While at the softer side of Sears, I purchased some unmentionables...that I will mention now. When I left the store, I thought I heard that beep, beep, beep alarm go off. So I stood there waiting for some store clerk to come out and tackle me, but nothing happened.

I put one of my brand-new unmentionable-mentionables on this morning. Something sure felt funny...

Never fear, I-Can-Do-That-Kelly can fix it! Nothing a pair of pliers can't take care of. Although, when I showed Poppy my unmentionable-mentionable, she said she thought ink comes out of the plastic thing if you try to take it apart. So what, like safe cracking...a cyanide pill will pop? Nope, nothing leaked out, although, maybe I can market something with Jax's glandular stink!

Well today is another project day at Kasa Kecky. Should be fun...for Project-Poppy!

Glad I'm not doing it. I'll send a pic once it's done. I think I'll go clean something.


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