Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Somebody has to talk about it...

So it might as well be me!

Ever meet somebody who has had a serious impact on your life?  I have met several people like this; most recently is one of our new Donner-Mae inductees, Kari-Mae.  Let me show you...

Yep, I had no idea and I bet some of you didn't either!  So, let's consult the Internets for a little history:

An early version of a bell-shaped menstrual cup was patented in 1932. Later menstrual cups were patented in 1935, 1937, and 1950. The Tassaway brand of menstrual cups was introduced in the 1960s, but it was not a commercial success.  Early menstrual cups were made of rubber;[ today, both silicone and rubber models are available.

In 1987, another latex rubber menstrual cup, The Keeper, was manufactured in the United States. This proved to be the first commercially viable menstrual cup and it is still in manufacture today. The first silicone menstrual cup was the UK-manufactured Mooncup. Most menstrual cups are now manufactured from medical silicone because of its durability and hypoallergenic properties. The German brand MeLuna is the only company to manufacture their cup out of TPE (thermoplastic elastomer). Menstrual cups are becoming more popular worldwide, with many different brands on the market, and there are different sizes and shapes available.


Nighty night!

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Not a cloud in the sky got the sun in my eyes...

Evidently, THE CLOUD is going to cooperate today.  I suppose I could update yesterday's blog post and add the pics, but that's no fun...

In order:



But wait, there's more.  What I didn't talk about yesterday was when we bought that included the head and feets.  As we know, I've already roasted the head and now it was time for the feets.

First I brined them.

Then I forgot to document the rest.  I simmered them in a Mirpoix for an hour, then to the oven they went to roast until the skin was crispy.  There really isn't much meat on those feets and the skin was like leather.  Jax-The-Feets-Connesewer seemed to enjoy them though.  Next up...kidneys!



Tuesday, January 22, 2013

Let's talk about migrating clouds...

A few weeks back my place of work "upgraded" our computer system to something called "Office 365".  Near as I can understand it, it has taken our I.T. stuff and migrated it to a cloud.  Just saying the words "migrating to a cloud" makes me feel old.  All this new-fangled technology junk.  Where is my rotary dial phone and my Funk and Wagnnals encyclopedias??

Quick story about the Funk and Wagnnals...when I was a kid, our local grocery store was doing a promotion where you could collect volumes of the Funk and Wagnalls encyclopedia set.  My Mom was doing so well, but took too long and the promotion ended.  We got most of the set...up to "F".  Ask me any question about any subject from A to F and I can tell you all about it!

Back to the migration...Me no likey this cloud.  I'm getting lots of junk email, but none of the important emails that I need.  Also, I'm no longer able to email myself, or anyone else, a picture from the camera in my iPhone.  I thought all my stuff was going to my Quarantine, but since the migration, the Quarantine doesn't exist any longer.  So, I guess all my stuff is floating in a cloud somewhere.  For some reason, I keep looking up to the sky.  This is weird.  Oh, and if you ask me...and nobody did, this cloud thing is just an inferior excuse to lay off more people.

So, here I am, writing my blog with no photographic documentation.  It sucks and it's boring.  Check it out...

Remember that really stupid gift from some really self-important-self-centered-love-to-hear-themselves-talk-relatives that you have no intention of keeping that we got?  Well, another family member got one too...


[Insert pic of really stupid Elvis impersonator garden gnome here]

Hmmm, not quite the same is it?

In keeping with my New Year starting off less than satisfactory, after I was starting to feel better, our little dog got sick.  Evidently, she either got stung by a bee or bit by a spider.  See?

[Insert pic of Lumpy here]

Oh, right, you can't see it.


Well, I've been cooking too.  Made some oven-carnitas yesterday and they were NOM!

[Insert pic of mouth-watering carnitas here]

Oh, and the carnitas tacos that I made:

[Um, insert pic of tacos here]

Crap, they look really good too!  It's as if we were in the Mission, only different.

So there you have it.  Technology at it's finest.

Remember this, you get what you pay for!

Bye Bye!

Sunday, January 13, 2013

What is going on???!!!

I hate to keep harping on this illness stuff, but C'MON...I figured that I would wake up this morning feeling better, i.e., raring to go.  Anyway, this is my public journal so I can write whatever I want!

Alas, whatever this is morphed again and I woke up with what I figured was a sinus headache.  By 1:00pm, it was full-blown and I was feeling seriously nauseous.  Dr.-Poppy was wondering if I was having a migraine. I was hoping not, but wouldn't it just figure that, after not having them in years and now that I'm entering the Autumn of my life, maybe I'm getting them back.  Whatever!

I figured I needed a sinus rinse but in order to do that, I had to boil some water...and wait for it to cool; took a freakin an eternity.  Pill-Pusher-Poppy was also suggesting that I take the Sudafed, but I'm really not supposed to take that cause of the high blood pressure.  But I'm feeling so sick at this point, I'll take my chances.

Now I've done the sinus rinse and taken the Sudafed with two pain killers so now all I can do is wait...

Hmmm, while waiting, Digital-Camera-Poppy had a field day:

Pretty girl!  The reason I'm laying like this is after the sinus rinse, you can't lay on your back or you'll drown or something.

Once I could lay on my back and still waiting for the drugs to kick in, Kodachrome-Poppy got busy again:

If you're wondering...yes, Roger is permanently attached to me.

Hey, I see a resemblance...


My goodness, isn't Picture-Perfect-Poppy talented?

I'm so over this...

Saturday, January 12, 2013


I've never been this bored in my life!  Being sick really sucks!

I need a change.  My hair has been bugging me...


Wait for it....wait for it...


Yep, I did it all by myself...well, with the help of my Internets.  It was all going okay until I got to the back with the little trimmer (without the guard).  I've always had trouble with looking in a mirror and trying to do something...up is down; left is confusing. 

That's not so bad. Clipper-Poppy can fix it!

See what's on the tele in the background?  Yeah, a Doomsday Preppers marathon.  It's like a train wreck...I can't stop watching it.  I've only watched 3 episodes and now I can make a gas mask with charcoal and a bandanna.  I can fuel my tractor, if I had one, with the oil from a transformer on a telephone pole.  I can run, tuck and roll into the bed of a moving truck and come up shooting...if I had a gun and if I could run, tuck and roll without breaking.  I'm so ready for the Zombie Apocalypse!  Reminds me of a saying "Failing to prepare is like preparing to fail."

But I digress...back to my shaved head; I was thinking of what kind of excuse I'd give on my first day back to work after 3 weeks...I could say I did it for my friend who has the cancer but, fortunately, I don't have any friends with the cancer. What about an unfortunate parasitical condition?  Gross, I'd never admit I had lice, I would be shunned!  I could say I did it for a part in a move like, say...

Ann Hathaway in Les Misermarbleswhatever:

Or Natalie Portman:

Hmmm, but I'm not an actor, nor do I entertain the idea that I even remotely resemble either one of these girlies.  I guess I could just tell the truth; I've always wanted to shave my head so that's what I did.  Turns out, I've got a pretty good shaped head too!

This put me in an instant good mood!  I feel better already...well, not really but come Monday I'm going to work come hell or high water!

Hey, do we look related?

I say yes!

While I was busy shaving my head, Margarita-Poppy and Nay-Nay-Mae had a very, very long day (and night) at work.  I could totally go into it, but why bother?  What's done is done but it does remind me of another saying that goes something like "Your failing to prepare, does not constitute and emergency to me."

After they were done, they went to Tia Margaritas for a snack and a tasty beverage.  I get an email that says...

Thinking of u:

WTF???  I swear to Cod, it's a freakin there are Stupid-Minkeys in food!  Whatever happened to seeing the Virginia-Mary in food? COD-DUH!

Time to go find something productive to do...


Thursday, January 10, 2013

How to entertain yourself when you're sick...

BK "suggested" I stay home for the remainder of the week so I can get over this plague and be all raring to go on Monday.  So that's what I'm going to do!

I've been mighty bored and have nothing to do but sit around and think.  But I had a scathingly-brilliant idea!  For those of you who saw Skyfall, you'll recall that Javier guy told the story about how he got rid of the rats on the island AND while we were on vacation, there was a Twilight Zone marathon.  One of the episodes we watched here these people; a ballerina, a soldier, a clown and a hobo were trapped in what looked like this room.  There was no ceiling in the room, so they were trying to escape but only to fail each with each attempt.  Turns out, they were dolls in a charity give-away box! Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do...

Now, for starters, why was there a hobo doll?  Have you ever even seen a hobo doll?  I don't know, like GI-Joe-Hobo doll (after several tours in Afghanistan GI-Joe comes home suffering from Post Traumatic Stress, he can't function and becomes a hobo) or Ken-The-Hobo doll (a very, very successful stock broker, but the market tanked and he lost it all. He's now stuck in hoboville).

Would a parent actually buy a hobo doll for their child?  That'll give your kid something to aspire to.  You know, now that I'm thinking about it, I bet there is a hobo doll out there...brought to you by the proud makers of:


Back to my scathingly-brilliant idea:

From Rodent-Poppy's research we know that your garden variety field mouse can jump about 12 that got me to thinking...

What if I get a bucket that's taller than 12 inches and put some food and water in it.  Then I'll put a step-stool there so he can jump in and then...

Worked like a charm!  He could jump alright, but was about 4 inches short of the edge of the bucket.  Well, now that I caught him, what was I to do with him? All-Of-A-Sudden-I've-Got-A-Conscious-Poppy thought we should collect a few and take them down to the beach.  Why in the hell would I want to do that?  They'd just find themselves in some other unsuspecting homo-owner's house.  I say let him take a nap!  So that's what he did.

I think I mentioned tomorrow afternoon will be the start of a "Dad's Weekend."  Being that I'm all juicy and gooey, I've been sleeping in his bed cause Sleeping-Beauty-Poppy needs her rest.  But Dad is going to need his bed back.  I turned over his bed yesterday and let Do-You-Need-A-Lozenge-Poppy know I was coming back to my side of the bed.  I figure it would be fine cause I wasn't really coughing much at night now.

One of the things with coming back to my own side of the bed is that I have to wear those stupid mouth guards.  Why?  Right, so I don't wake up Rumpels-Poppyskin with my loud snoring!  When I wear those stupid mouth guards, my throat gets all dry and I cough anyway.  This is a new thing that started after I quit drinking.  So with or without a cold, I'm coughing at some point during the night.  Cod, it's hell being me!

Anyway, I'm back on my own side of the bed, minding my own business, when somewhere in the middle of the night, I coughed 3 times.  Aw, we go!  Wide-Awake-Poppy said "Do you need some cough medicine." To which I responded "No, Cod-Duh...I only coughed 3 times!" There were a few more stifled-pillow-coughs and then around 5:00am, the mouth-guard-choking started.  Oh the pressure...I reluctantly got out of bed with my red blanky and pillow and waddled out to the couch.  The cold leather couch...and that's where I froze my fat ass until Bright-Eyed-And-Bushy-Tailed-Poppy opened the bedroom door around 8:30am.

Here's my new sleeping arrangement for the next few days...

Jax digs it!  We'll think of it as camping.  Besides, it's a Swiss cot so it's even more comfortable than our know, the bed I'll never get to sleep in again...ever.


Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Are you tellin me...

I can't believe Huell Howser is gone.  Seester and Bro-N-Law originally turned me onto him in Caaaaleeefornya's Gold.  The guy was so fun to watch.  He was quoted as "Magnificently Unslick".  I thought he was kind of cool in a goofy way.

Doomsday-Poppy had to point out that he was only 67 when he died and that's just a short 15 years away from where we are now.  Okay, I don't think she was being Doomsday-Poppy, she was just pointing out that life is short so we'd best enjoy it.

And that brings me to my next topic...why am I sick?!

This was supposed to be Fatass' big kick-off to the New Year and now she's two days behind.  She was supposed to go back to work yesterday, but never made it far from the couch or bed.  She is pissed!

There's only so much you can do when you're sick...thank the Cods for the Internets.  I went on a small shopping spree.

I bought a new messenger bag:

And a new watch:
Why did I buy a watch like this?  Well, because I have my Nephew-Lucas tattoo where a watch would go on my wrist and I love to see said tattoo, so this watch will go on my belt loop or my new messenger bag.  I was torn between the blue watch or this orange one:

I had to consult with Senior-Graphic-Designer-Poppy for a decision.  She chose the blue watch.  Maybe I should have got the gray watch since the accents on the bag are gray.  Hmmm, I don't want to be too matchy-matchy.

I also placed an order for chai tea spices with my favorite herb place,  See, while we were at Aunt Kathy and Uncle Ken's, I discovered they were both massive tea lovers, like myself.  They had a whole big drawer full of all kinds of was like the tea mecca, only different.  Also, Tea-Masta-Ken has this fancy tea pot maker thing.  You put the water and the tea in and hit a few buttons and the tea basket automatically keeps lowering and raising the tea until it's at the desired strength you want.  Very cool.

Anyway, Tea-Masta-Ken also has his own recipe for Chai Tea.  Not just NOM, but HABIT-FORMING-NOM (that's even better than INFINITY NOM).

Want the recipe?  Of course you do!

Uncle-Tea-Masta-Ken's Cha-Cha-Cha-Chai-Tea

½ Tbsp dried ginger
1 tsp whole cloves, crushed
1 tsp peppercorns, crushed
½ tsp dried orange peel
4 berries whole allspice
1 tsp ground (not powdered) cinnamon
½ Tbsp cardamom seeds (not whole pods)

Mix well; store in an airtight container in a dark place.

When ready to brew, use one tsp per cup of tea. Split this mix half-and-half with the tea (or other infusion). Brew at 212 degrees Fahrenheit for 10 minutes alone, then add the tea (or other infusion) and brew again at the optimum temperature and time for the tea.

Example: For 4 cups of black chai tea, brew two tsp of this mix at 212 degrees F. for 10 minutes, then add two tsp black tea leaves and brew again at 212 degrees F. for 5 minutes.

For 4 cups of non-caffeinated cinnamon chai herbal tea, add two tsp of ground cinnamon to two tsp of this mix, and brew at 212 degrees F. for 10 minutes.


Let's see, what else did I do yesterday...Nothing, that's what.

So now that We're-Not-Going-To-Live-Forever-Poppy gave us a death sentence, what does enjoying the rest of our short lives look like?  Well, for starters, it wouldn't include working for nine hours a day, now would it? It also wouldn't include having the pressure of paying a mortgage and other bills.  What else? Let's see...Oh yeah!

I'd eat what I want and more than a 4oz portion;
I'd drink what I wanted and in mass quantities;
I'd smoke if I wanted and I'd blow the smoke in a small child's face (preferably, I child I didn't like), just kidding...sort of;
I wouldn't wear a helmet;
I'd eat lots of fish and not watch out for bones;
I wouldn't floss;
I'd run with scissors in one hand, a pencil in the other and a sucker in my mouth;
I'd play with my "thing" to see if my hand really falls off;
I'd eat raw cookie dough until it makes me sick;
I'd kick my shoes off without untying the Goddamn laces;
I'd leave the refrigerator door open until all the cold air gets let out;
I'd flush a feminine product down someone else's toilet just to see what happens (strike that, I already know what happens);
I'd eat a gut-bomb burrito and then go swimming;
Safety would be second; oh, and
I'd only chew my food 26 times.

But really, if I were serious about enjoying the rest of my allotted 15 years, I'd be like Moses (hold the God stuff) and walk the land with my Shepherd-Poppy and Jax-Dog-Is-My-Co-Pilot at our sides. I need to figure out a plan for Roger.  She's not good for walking long distances...

Have I mentioned that I'm bored?

Hey, check out my cool knot tying skills!

Like all minkeys, he freakin deserved it!

I made faux Tom Yum soup...good for what ails you.  I didn't slice my shiitakes thin enough though. Other than that, it was pretty good.  Put lots of chili in it too.

Well, I've worn myself out and need a nap.


Saturday, January 5, 2013

After 20 Years of Companionship...

Our little Meeko was diagnosed with lymphoma and kidney failure.  This was really the first time she'd ever been sick.  I adopted her when she was 5 months old.  She's had a very happy and long life.  Her last day today was spent with us being treated like a queen.  We will miss her very much.

K & B

Happy Freakin Minkey Holidays!

Why, why, why must I be tortured so?!

After arriving at Aunt Kathy and Uncle Ken's and settling in, it was time for bed.  Look what awaited me...

I didn't sleep a wink wondering if that seemingly cute rubber bathtub freakin minkey is going to scratch my eyeballs out!

Then, one night, while saying goodnight to MomJean and Adrienne what do I see in the Holiday Bush poised and ready to scratch my eyeballs out?


While we were in Virginia and before everyone got sick, we went to the movies.  In attendance were me, Anti-Scurvy-Poppy, Just-Tell-Me Where-To-Park-Ken, Chef-And-All-Things-Planning-And-Logistics-Kathy, Please-Play-Words-With-Friends-With-Me-Adrienne and I-Brake-For -Hobbits-MomJean.  Three out of six wanted to see that hobbit movie and three did not.  Guess which group I was in?  

After the Non-Hobbits (aka, the cool kids) finished up with Jack Reacher (Tom Cruise ranks just above a hobbit in my book) we headed over to the Plough and Hearth store where I hear some lady say "How much are the Sock-Monkey napkins?"  WTF??

Then came time to open the pressys...


Roger wants to kill it.  Good girl!

Again I say why, why, why?!

Chef-Kathy and I cooked a whole bunch...well, I helped anyway:

Look what else I got!!!

That's carbon steel, no less!  Slice meat so thin you're in-laws will never come back!  Give you a dollar if you can tell me what commercial that is from.

Okay, then it was Christmas day...


So, Trickey family tradition is to have these Sausage-Cheesy-Ball things on Christmas morning.  Please don't demote me from Favorite-Niece status, Katie, but I didn't eat any...

Everyone else just loves them!  I wonder if Hobbits and Minkey's like them?  Maybe if they eat them, they'd get the bloat and die!

Okay, now it was time for the second leg of our trip, which was an 8 hour drive to Landrum, South Carolina.  Because half of the party had come down with the Kansas-Kold, they stayed back in Virgina.  The rest of us forged a head and after reaching our destination, one by one we started to fall victim to the Kansas-Kold.  I was still among the living for New Years Eve.

Poppy's other aunt and uncle, Ed and LeAnne put on this crazy fun pig roast NYE party every year.  Here's the where the piggy is being roasted...


A good time was had by all, even though the Typhoid Train came to town.

Say, ever get some really stupid gifts from some really self-important-self-centered-love-to-hear-themselves-talk-relatives that you have no intention of keeping?


Who would make this and more importantly, why would someone buy this?  I don't think it's cute or funny.  Well, about as funny as bringing a Glock 9mm with a high-capacity magazine to a party...

Yo, the views and opinions expressed in this blog do not necessarily reflect those of any person related to the blogger by blood, domestic partnership or relation to domestic partner.

By the time we got home, I'd been struck down by the Kansas-Kold and that's probably why this post is pretty lame.  More when I'm feeling better.

Ho Ho Freakin Ho!