Tuesday, December 31, 2013

Enjoy the rest of your journey Mike...

Addiction and tobacco companies SUCK!

Monday, December 30, 2013

Sunday, December 29, 2013

Still trying to figure out the IT...

As it gets closer to the New Year, I’m feeling some pressure to find the IT. Here’s what I know so far:

1. I want to be a superhero.
2. If I can’t be a superhero, I’d like to be a Samurai…or a better yet, a Ronin.
3. I have always been fascinated with martial arts.
4. My knees hurt.
5. Yoga is cool.
6. Yoga studios are not cool. They smell like dirty socks and farts.
7. I seem to have a small issue with commitment or failure, I’m not sure which.
8. Tai Chi is interesting to me.
9. I seem to spend a lot of time thinking about IT or food.

I decided I’d look for a Tai Chi class. I consulted my Internets; Yelp, specifically. I found one. There wasn’t much information other than the dude’s name, Sifu Mao. No website, either. There was one review that said I could email for information so I did. Here’s what I wrote:

From: KDallmann@presidiotrust.gov
To: kcmaoqi@hotmail.com
Subject: The Most Balanced Tai Chi...
Date: Thu, 26 Dec 2013 23:11:41 +0000

Hi there. I saw your review on Yelp. Before I call and set something up, can you tell me something about Sifu Mao’s classes? I see they are private. Where do the classes take place? Does he give classes in the evenings? I am 51 and have osteoarthritis in my knee. I’m looking for more flexibility and hopefully a little strengthening. Thanks.

Okay, I get my first question was a little broad, but KC Mao’s reply was kind of snotty…

Let answer your questions one by one:

What are "something about Sifu Mao's classes" you are looking for? if you read reviews fully, you could get a general idea.

Classes take places in different locations, depends on students preferences and where they live and if the classes location is suitable.

Since lessons are private, classes in the evenings is possible.

Classes of Tai Chi plus his special Chi Gong are good for knee osteoarthritis.

Yes, you'll feel more flexibility and strengthening within a short time, as all other students felt that way, if you read their reviews.


I downloaded a Tai Chi app on my phone. I’ll give that a whirl and go from there.

Well, as much as I loved Nom Nom Mary, I needed to eat something else. Since Don’t-Make-Me-Eat-Livah-Poppy isn’t around, I decided I’d make some happy liver…

I sautéed onions, garlic and mushroom in some bacon fat. Then I tossed in the liver.

I also had some sauerkraut that I rinsed and then bathed in happy beef broth for a few hours. Then I threw that on top of the liver. Darn tasty!

Time to go eat something and think about IT.


Friday, December 27, 2013

'Tis the season...

For change…Let’s see. She’s-a-Travelin-Woman-Poppy left this past Monday for Wichita. I would leave the day after Christmas to meet up with her and the rest of the gang. From there, we would head to Madison, WI to meet up with pals of Poppy’s who I’d met over the summer. We were very excited about a snowy vacation…and that’s where things change.

Poppy’s Uncle has taken very ill so the whole crew has packed up from Kansas and is now in San Antonio, Texas. Uncle’s Daughter, Autumn flew out from England. Yeah, it’s that bad. So, the Madison part of our vacation was cancelled and I figured it would probably be better if I stayed home so here I am. I don’t guess Mi-Poppy will be back until later next week. Rough time for them, but at least they will all be together.

P.S., If you smoke, quit! And get you’re goddamn blood pressure checked.

Anyway, I decided I would try to do a low-carb Christmas dinner, so I bought my favorite turkey, Mary’s Organic Free Range turkey. If you’ve not had one, get one. The best turkey I’ve ever had and well worth the extra $$.

I figured I’d cook up Mary in the Nom Nom style so that’s what I did. Here’s Nom Nom Mary:

I wanted to make Mom’s stuffing, but I didn’t want to use white bread, so I bought some gluten free bread. The ingredients in the GF bread are different from other breads. There’s rice flour and some other junk. So I went about drying my bread cubes the other day and then made the stuffing.

Also on le menu was low-carb cranberry sauce. For this, I put two oranges in my Nutri-Bullet and pulverized the crap out of them. Added that to those boiling cranberries along with some Zevia cola. Figured that would work for the sugar, plus the stuff in Zevia is all natural…even has nutmeg in it. It still was a wee tart, so I added the Stevia drops. Winner, winner Nom Nom Mary’s turkey dinner!

As for the stuffing, it was okay but the texture was like eating a sponge and the GF didn’t agree with my tummy at all.

Today I had my own “It’s a Wonderful Life” moment…Jax and I went to the beach this morning. We were up on the promenade and I saw a young couple with two boys. Dad appeared to be in his undies or a Speedo. Oh man, now he’s taking off his shirt and heading to the water, while the little woman is taking video of him chest pumping and trying to look all Charles Atlas-ie.

I’m watching this, the surfer dudes are watching this and Daddy is going further out in the surf. Shit! Those of us who live here all know that Ocean Beach has a terrible reputation for the rip tide current thing, not to mention, there is a SEVER BEACH HAZARD in effect, which includes sneaker waves, big surf and those darn rip currents. Aw jeez! I’ve got my good running shoes on that I just hate getting sand in, but I can tell this just won’t end well if I just stand there. So, Jax and I go walking down to the wife and boys. I say “Are you from around here?” She says in her sick fwench accent “No.” I tell her about the severe beach hazard so she starts yelling at Daddy-o to get out. I go on my merry way.

Just so you know I wasn’t joking about the waves and such:

Are you digging my "noir" effect? I forgot I had it on.

Okay, time to go help an old lady cross the street…

Happy New Year!

Sunday, December 1, 2013


So on my last post about the gonads in my feet, um, according to Smarty-Pants-Poppy, I evidently have a set of them gonads, but they are actually my oval-ries. Why, I didn't realize that the term "gonad" is intersexed and refers to a sex gland...male or female. I guess that means I'm still a girly. But on the way home last night when Professor-Poppy was esplaining the history of the gonad to me, she turned it into one of those stoopid mathematical analogy things…Gonads are to testis as ovaries are to feet, or something like that.  Okay, if Unsuspecting-Johnny had a $1.32 and a huge set of gonads, how many balls can he buy from Farmer Bill?  If Slutty-Sally had only one oval-ry, how many eggs will she drop on Unsuspecting-Johnny's balls on the way home from Farmer Bill's?

I tell ya, I was more confused after Masters-and-Johnson-Poppy esplained it to me, than I was the day before when I thought I was a boy.
There you go.