Tuesday, May 3, 2016

Pedal...or Die!

Pedal Poppy and I joined the Bike Everywhere Challenge. We'll be riding with our fellow coworkers for the month of May logging as many miles as we can. Team name: BrokenHipsters. Motto: Pedal, or Die.

Last night we had a BrokenHipster Mixter with the team:

Left to right:

278-T-Rob; and

Today was my first ride so I thought I'd share it with you. It started all nice and happy...

Shortly into my ride and my first wee hill, Mama no happy!

So now I'm all self-talking in my head but there's nothing good to talk about. Here's some of the things I discussed among myself:

Why am I doing this?
This is really F'd up.
Am I a sin Fwench woman, yet?
This is bites!
My pee pee hurts.
Why is my water bottle leaking all over me?
Does my ass look big on this seat?

No pain, no gain, right? Speaking of pain, are those chest pains I'm having? Hmmm. Where's that SAG wagon with the red flashing lights and siren when I need it? I tried to drink more water from my dribble-sippy-water-bottle thing while I waited for the pain to pass. The only thing hydrated is the front of my jacket!

One thing about being a BrokenHipster is that you never...ever pass up an opportunity to pee. When you gotta go, you gotta go...

So, the chest pains subsided and I was on my merry way. I stopped here thinking maybe the Cods could save me, but all I saw was Charlie the Tuna. Oh wait, that's Chicken of the Sea, not Star of the Sea...Sorry Charlie! I knew Cod was a fish!

After the Cods rejected me, I soldiered on. Then this happened!

Bread!! I'm supposed to carbo-load when I exercise, right?

Thank the Cods and the Carbs that I'd about reached my destination. By this time, my pee pee was on fire. I think I have a blister. Guess that's why they make those tight little padded bike shorts. This sin Fwench woman is gonna get her some!

Made it!

Remember, it's not about the destination, it's about the journey not breaking anything on the way!