Wednesday, January 26, 2011
This morning I had the worst craving for some pickle juice. I was practically salivating just thinking about it. I didn't even need any vodka or ice to go with it, but that's only because it was too early in the morning to drink it like that, not to mention a work day.
I mean, I'm just standing there staring at the open jar and the spoon thinking "Is it weird I just want to stick that spoon in and slurp it like a soup?" So I did it! I dipped that spoon in that jar three times and I liked it!! I started fantasizing about getting out a little glass with an ice cube, adding some of that NOMMY pickle juice and drinking it. But I didn't. I thought about putting that pickle juice in a ta-go container so I could drink it at work. But I didn't. Then I read the ingredients on the back of the jar and saw Polysorbate 80 and that jolted me back to reality and I poured it all down the drain.
But then I had a scathingly-brilliant idea...Piggle-Poppy and I canned pickles that first year we were together and we have a recipe for the pickling liquid. Said recipe doesn't have any of that Polysorbate 80; I could use sea salt instead of pickling salt. I could make it and have it whenever I wanted! YES!
I emailed Longtime-Very-Dear-Friend-Jeannie and asked her if it was weird I was having this craving for pickle juice. She replied that obviously I was pregnant. I said the only way that would happen was if the Lord Your God had something to do with it. Things that make you go hmmm.
Let's go to Imelda land...
I just wanted a classic pair of Adidas. No, not classic lesbian, either. Do you know that in the past I've been accused of buying a new pair of white shoes every time one of my white pairs would get dirty?
Mean people suck!