Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Pickle Juice...

This morning I had the worst craving for some pickle juice. I was practically salivating just thinking about it. I didn't even need any vodka or ice to go with it, but that's only because it was too early in the morning to drink it like that, not to mention a work day.

I mean, I'm just standing there staring at the open jar and the spoon thinking "Is it weird I just want to stick that spoon in and slurp it like a soup?" So I did it! I dipped that spoon in that jar three times and I liked it!! I started fantasizing about getting out a little glass with an ice cube, adding some of that NOMMY pickle juice and drinking it. But I didn't. I thought about putting that pickle juice in a ta-go container so I could drink it at work. But I didn't. Then I read the ingredients on the back of the jar and saw Polysorbate 80 and that jolted me back to reality and I poured it all down the drain.

But then I had a scathingly-brilliant idea...Piggle-Poppy and I canned pickles that first year we were together and we have a recipe for the pickling liquid. Said recipe doesn't have any of that Polysorbate 80; I could use sea salt instead of pickling salt. I could make it and have it whenever I wanted! YES!

I emailed Longtime-Very-Dear-Friend-Jeannie and asked her if it was weird I was having this craving for pickle juice. She replied that obviously I was pregnant. I said the only way that would happen was if the Lord Your God had something to do with it. Things that make you go hmmm.

Let's go to Imelda land...

Day 12:

I just wanted a classic pair of Adidas. No, not classic lesbian, either. Do you know that in the past I've been accused of buying a new pair of white shoes every time one of my white pairs would get dirty?

Mean people suck!

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