Friday, April 1, 2011

Talk About Spring Fever!


We've had three days of gorgeous weather...and The Giants' season has officially started! So what if they lost last night, I have faith!

Before I start my story, I must tell you that the dinna is the most important meal of my day. I become frustrated and agitated if I don't enjoy my dinner or it's not what I wanted. I don't know why I'm like this, but I am.



Well, Cheap-Eats-Poppy found us a deal last night. Northstar Bar in North Beach had an opening night special...free hot dogs! Now, I'm not a big fan of the hot dog but they were free and we're on a budget. You'll recall that we're also on the low-carb lifestyle so this presents a problem for me cause that hot dog comes with that bun. Insulin-Spiking-Poppy doesn't mind the occasional bread treat, but if I'm going to risk a spike in my Insulin levels, I'm going to do it with my almost famous Jook, a box of Kraft Macaroni and Cheese Family Style Delux or a abnormally large loaded baked potato.

After we watched a few innings of the game and had a couple of 3.2 grams-o-carbs-Miller Lites it was time for that hotdiggity-dog. I will say, given the heat-wave those Miller Lites were darn refreshing...Oh, did I mention it was happy hour too? Yeah, those beers were $3 for a pint. Spend-Thrify-Poppy was one happy little girl!

Alrighty, I-Wish-I-Were-An-Oscar-Mayer-Weiner-Poppy went to get her dog and I'm thinking how I'm going to eat this hot dog? Do they have knives and forks cause I ain't gonna eat that bun, but I don't want to be eating no hot dog with one hand given the falic nature of the dog. I'm a proper lady (almost) so I need a knife and fork!

Tube-Steak-Poppy comes back with her dog and a side of potato chips! Carb suicide, I tell ya! I ask her if they've got knives and forks. She said she doesn't remember seeing them. I go out to get my dog thinking Poppy had sauerkraut and onions on hers so odds were good, I could make a nice meal out of just the dog sans that death-producing bun. I get out there, I get my dog and quickly see they've run out of the sauerkraut!

Sadly, there on my plate is this very long, wrinkled hot dog with some ketchup, mustard and onions. I'm started to get that frustrated/agitated feeling cause I know my dinner isn't going to be what I wanted. Oh, they gots no stinkin knives and forks either so eating this messy dog is going to look like a really bad porn flick (are there really any good ones?) meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre all mixed together.

I sit down with my stupid hot dog, look at Hunger-Satiated-Poppy with that this-is-all-your-fault-for-making-me-eat-a-hot-dog-look and I say "This is not what I wanted and Mama ain't happy!" She says "Hey, it's free and it fills the hole." I say "Eating shouldn't be about filling the hole but I get your point." So I ate that freakin dog using my two-finger method; breaking it into two inch pieces and eating it. F-word, F-word, F-Word! GOD-DUH!!!

For those of you who don't know what Kelly's two-fingered method of eating is...using your thumb and index finger you pick up the "finger food" and eat it. That way, you only mess those two fingers and the rest of your fingers are free to drink your tasty beverage without out getting the glass/bottle all messy and risk it slipping out of your greezy fingers. I will say that this is a challenge when it comes to Buffalo wings, but I'm a professional!

Here I am in Texas having some BBQ using that two-fingered method:



You better bet dinner tonight is going to be NOM cause I've got a meal to make up!!!

Have a lovely and good-eating weekend!

No comments:

Post a Comment