Fatass has this road bike. It's a Bianchi Vigorelli. It's a higher-end bike and just a bit out of Fattass' league. Reason Fatass has it is that the bike Fatass originally wanted, an entry-level Bianchi Eros was sold out from under her. The guy at the dealership felt really bad and wanted to make it right so he gave her a $2,000 Vigorelli bike for $1,200 which was the price for the Eros. Now this Vigorelli is a total race bike. When Fatass rides her beater bike around town the Roadies pass her by usually spitting or blowing a snot rocket, but when she's riding the Vigorelli, they pass her by and say "Hey, how's it going?" Trying her best not to huff and puff she says "Excellent cough, cough.."
Here's the thing, the ravages of time have taken their toll on Fatass; oh alright, maybe it's all the good food and drink that Fatass over-serves herself. Whatever; the bottom line is Fatass doesn't ride very fast on her high-end bike. So Fatass (with the help of her Poppy) gave her Vigorelli a new name and persona to go with:
SLUGORELI, THE BIKE OF LEAD!
Faster than an unfired bullet
Barely able to dodge car doors in a single bound,
Look! At the bottom of the hill!
It’s a nerd!
It’s a shame!
It’s … Slugorelli!