Oh, I should probably mention that I don’t consider my working life the real world, so I never imbibed while typing away…Okay, I did once after one of our Crabby-Admin-Parties, but after I tripped and fell over in BK’s office FFM told BK she would drive me home.
Oh, oh…I guess I’ll mention too that I really don’t consider myself a full-fledged-raging-alcoholic; just maybe an alcoholic-lite. I mean, I’ve never drunk dialed anyone or woke up nekked in someone else’s bed (I’m sure Poppy appreciates that). I don’t think I’ve blacked out…but what is blacking out, really? Is not remembering the night before or not remembering how you got home considered blacking out? I don’t think so; I call that middle-age!
Where was I? Right, the Adventcha…Adventcha-Poppy and I set out exploring on Sunday. First we stopped at Devil’s Tooth Bakery. It’s our newish neighborhood bakery. Just so you know Sundays are ben-YAY day! I have no idea how to spell ben-YAY and my nifty spellcheck doesn’t catch it so I can’t even look it up on my Internets. So, it will now be known as Ben-Yay…unless I go to New Orleans, then I’ll learn how to spell it.
We sat out front at Devil’s Tooth for a few hours Hipster-watching. If you are a Hipster and you are reading this, you probably know that skinny jeans and Nike Frees are totally in!
Also, being that it was Ben-YAY! day, all the man-Hipsters had powdered sugar finger prints on the butt of their skinny black jeans and all the lady-Hipsters had powdered sugar finger prints on their black leggings with their knee-high boots. So uncool! I don’t know how many times I had to say “Excuse me Hipster, but you have white shit all over your ass!”
After Kate and Reese, two child-Hipsters, were done playing with Jax-The-Goodwill-Ambassadress, it was time for Mommy-Hipster and Daddy-Hipster to take the Lil-Hipsters home. Poor Lil-Hipsters too; I asked them if they had a doggie at home and Kate said they had a fake dog at home and it barks. Just like a Hipster to have a fake dog…posers!
Since we were having so much Hipster-fun, we decided to have a day of people watching, so we took our little Goodwill-Ambassadress home and then BrokenHipster-Poppy and I gimped on MUNI. We got off at Castro for a little Gay-Hipster people watching and then decided we’d walk over to the Mission for more people watching and then some dinner.
Evidently, those Hipsters that were at the coffee place earlier decided they’d all go to the Mission. I’m not sure, maybe that’s where they live cause I’ll tell you, they’ve taken over the Mission. Used to be back in the day when you tripped on the sidewalk, it was because there was a homeless guy lying on the ground, now it’s because there’s a stroller with quadruplets and a fake dog sitting in the middle of the sidewalk.
We went into a Hipster kid store:
I guess hunting fake stuffed animals is the new Hipster sport.
After a little window shopping, Parched-Poppy and I stopped into the Lexington to wet our whistles. The Lex is one of two Lesbian bars in town. It’s mostly Angry-Lesbian-Hipsters, which are a completely different animal than your Run-Of-The-Mill-Hipster. Yes, they wear skinny jeans and Nike Frees, but they are way cooler…kind of James Dean like, really.
Why are there only a couple Lesbian bars in town? Well, unlike BrokenHipster-Poppy and me, most Lesbians are at home, in their cargo shorts, with their two dogs and three cats doing home improvements.
Now it was time to find a Hipster dinner spot. So many choices…We ended up at Locanda. NOM!! Like, who cares if we were the oldest ones in the place? Dude, like, the food was awesome! Pork belly jerky, radishes with anchovy butter and…
Okay, he was really pretty before we ate him up.
By this time, I was ready to bust out of my skinny jeans, plus, it was a Sunday night and it was 8:30 so time for BrokenHipster-Poppy and I to make our way home to our cargo shorts, little dog and cat.
The end.
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