Thursday, January 10, 2013

How to entertain yourself when you're sick...

BK "suggested" I stay home for the remainder of the week so I can get over this plague and be all raring to go on Monday.  So that's what I'm going to do!

I've been mighty bored and have nothing to do but sit around and think.  But I had a scathingly-brilliant idea!  For those of you who saw Skyfall, you'll recall that Javier guy told the story about how he got rid of the rats on the island AND while we were on vacation, there was a Twilight Zone marathon.  One of the episodes we watched here these people; a ballerina, a soldier, a clown and a hobo were trapped in what looked like this room.  There was no ceiling in the room, so they were trying to escape but only to fail each with each attempt.  Turns out, they were dolls in a charity give-away box! Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do...

Now, for starters, why was there a hobo doll?  Have you ever even seen a hobo doll?  I don't know, like GI-Joe-Hobo doll (after several tours in Afghanistan GI-Joe comes home suffering from Post Traumatic Stress, he can't function and becomes a hobo) or Ken-The-Hobo doll (a very, very successful stock broker, but the market tanked and he lost it all. He's now stuck in hoboville).

Would a parent actually buy a hobo doll for their child?  That'll give your kid something to aspire to.  You know, now that I'm thinking about it, I bet there is a hobo doll out there...brought to you by the proud makers of:

BOOM!


Back to my scathingly-brilliant idea:

From Rodent-Poppy's research we know that your garden variety field mouse can jump about 12 inches...so that got me to thinking...

What if I get a bucket that's taller than 12 inches and put some food and water in it.  Then I'll put a step-stool there so he can jump in and then...

Worked like a charm!  He could jump alright, but was about 4 inches short of the edge of the bucket.  Well, now that I caught him, what was I to do with him? All-Of-A-Sudden-I've-Got-A-Conscious-Poppy thought we should collect a few and take them down to the beach.  Why in the hell would I want to do that?  They'd just find themselves in some other unsuspecting homo-owner's house.  I say let him take a nap!  So that's what he did.

I think I mentioned tomorrow afternoon will be the start of a "Dad's Weekend."  Being that I'm all juicy and gooey, I've been sleeping in his bed cause Sleeping-Beauty-Poppy needs her rest.  But Dad is going to need his bed back.  I turned over his bed yesterday and let Do-You-Need-A-Lozenge-Poppy know I was coming back to my side of the bed.  I figure it would be fine cause I wasn't really coughing much at night now.

One of the things with coming back to my own side of the bed is that I have to wear those stupid mouth guards.  Why?  Right, so I don't wake up Rumpels-Poppyskin with my loud snoring!  When I wear those stupid mouth guards, my throat gets all dry and I cough anyway.  This is a new thing that started after I quit drinking.  So with or without a cold, I'm coughing at some point during the night.  Cod, it's hell being me!

Anyway, I'm back on my own side of the bed, minding my own business, when somewhere in the middle of the night, I coughed 3 times.  Aw, crap...here we go!  Wide-Awake-Poppy said "Do you need some cough medicine." To which I responded "No, Cod-Duh...I only coughed 3 times!" There were a few more stifled-pillow-coughs and then around 5:00am, the mouth-guard-choking started.  Oh the pressure...I reluctantly got out of bed with my red blanky and pillow and waddled out to the couch.  The cold leather couch...and that's where I froze my fat ass until Bright-Eyed-And-Bushy-Tailed-Poppy opened the bedroom door around 8:30am.

Here's my new sleeping arrangement for the next few days...

Jax digs it!  We'll think of it as camping.  Besides, it's a Swiss cot so it's even more comfortable than our bed...you know, the bed I'll never get to sleep in again...ever.

TTFN!

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