Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Fatass ain't that fat...

A year ago November I bought a pair of Carhartt jeans. I have a pair of the twill Carhartts that will last forever, but these jeans seem not to be as sturdy as the twills and are wearing out in the oddest places...again, Fatass ain't that fat!

So I emailed Carhartt and they'll pay for me to send the pants back to their quality control department to determine whether it's a design flaw or Fatass is just fat.

My-Home-Is-My-Castle-Poppy has been wanting new furniture for a long, long time. We came close a few months back; she had her eyeballs on a sectional from Macy's called "The Lucas". I thought it would be cool to have furniture named after my nephew. You may recall, we went all the way to San Leandro to sit our asses on The Lucas. Dad even liked it! Tickled-Pink-Poppy just lub'd The Lucas too...only, it's made of Bicast leather. What is Bicast leather you ask? How do I know, ask Poppy! I will tell you this, Bicast is a kind of shiny-slickery leather that when you sit on it, you slide off onto the floor. Not just furniture, but entertainment! After much research, Fact-Finding-Poppy decided against The Lucas.

Well, wouldn't you know it, Macy's furniture flyer came in the mail the other day. Kid-N-A-Furniture-Store-Poppy exclaimed "The Macy's furniture flyer came...it's the President's sale and you know what that means?!!" Yeah, I know what that means...that means we're going to be spending lots of money on furniture I don't think we need. Of course, if it were up to Kelly-Raised-By-Wolves, we'd be sitting on milk crates and eating off paper plates. Why bother using silverware, it's just one more thing for me to clean!

Since I was being less than supportive (I can't help it, Fatass is hormonal) about Must-Have-New-Furniture-Now-Poppy's decision to buy new furniture, I refused to go with her to shop and sit on said new furniture. Besides, I trust her to make the right decision, even if I don't want any part of it. Not like it matters that I don't want it, plus we'd sat on Alessia before. We both liked it, but Measure-Twice-Buy-Once-Poppy said it was too big for the living room. Evidently, our house has grown a few cubic feet since then.

Alright, it's official; meet Alessia:

That's right Aunts, Uncles and MomJean, you'll be sitting on the lap of luxury when you come for your visit and you won't be sliding onto the floor. There won't be any tables or bookshelves cause they won't fit. I'm not even sure the T.V. will still be in the living room. Well, we could mount it on the ceiling, I guess. Seems to hospitally to me though.

I hate change! I guess, maybe, it's not the change, but the selling and lifting of the old furniture to get it out of the house is what I'm really not looking forward too.

Boo and a big Sigh!

Alright, enough about the furniture. As usual, Poppy did a good job...but how about if I get something that I've been wanting for months? Yeah, Poppy's needs, what about mine?? Instead of sitting my Fatass on that new furniture, I'm going to be busy...

I know, you thought it was going to be a pair of shoes...wrong!

Can't take it with you, right?


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