Friday, August 30, 2013

She says "swill", I say "medley"...

The other day I bought two Pork Shoulder Blade Steaks.  They were probably a little more than a half-inch thick.  I figured if GrillMasta-Poppy grilled them they'd end up like shoe leather, so I thought...Let's braise them!

I had to come up with a braising liquid that didn't include flour and was creamy, but wouldn't curdle.  I also wanted some mushrooms.  At the store, I bought a box of organic french onion soup, a box of organic portobello mushroom soup and for the creamy, a jar of Classico Alfredo Sauce.

I sauteed some shallots and garlic and added it to my braising liquid...
Opps, that's not my braising liquid, those are my next shoe-glorious-shoe purchase!

Here it is:

I added some pepper and junk to it too.  Then I browned my Porky-Steaks:

Then I ran into the dilemma of deglazing the pot.  I didn't want to use any of the braising liquid for that cause I figured I'd make cheese or something.  BOOM, I had leftover kraut in the fridge that I'd made with some stock...and isn't kraut one of Porky's BFF?  I think so!  So I deglazed with that, then put the Porky-Steaks and the braising liquid back in the pot, brought it to a boil and stuck it in the oven for an hour and a half.

Yeah, NOM!

So I asked No-Wet-Meat-For-Me-Poppy if she wanted some leftovers for lunch.  She said:

Then today while I was enjoying my leftover Porky-Steak-Surprise, I emailed Dry-As-A-Bone-Poppy to tell her how good my lunch was and here's how the conversation went down:

Me: My porky steak surprise is so good!

My Worst Food Critic: Gag.

Me: You didn’t like it?  I thought it was really good.  Soggy pork, yum!!

MWFC: It was good. Just the day after as a swill …

Me: I can’t believe you used the word “swill” in connection with my wonderful dinner!  Hurumph!

MWFC: No, as your next day lunch, all liquidy and mixed up. That is the definition of a swill.

Of course I had to look up the definition of “swill” on my Internets…

Me: Hogwash!

1. liquid or partly liquid food for animals, especially kitchen refuse given to swine; hogwash.

2. kitchen refuse in general; garbage.

3. any liquid mess, waste, or refuse; slop.

4. a deep draught of liquor.

5. contemptibly worthless utterance or writing; drivel.

MWFC: What a great word!!

Me: But that’s not what I just ate!

MWFC: And there’s a big distinction between “swill” and “a swill.” Yours is a swill, not swill in general.

Me: I think “medley” is a better word…Pork Steak w/mushroom medley.

MWFC: Medley implies texture and differentiation…

Me: It’s there, it’s just subtle!

MWFC: Mm hmm.

Now, I'm the first to admit that I like foods that are...well...wet.  I also wouldn't mind if everything had cottage cheese on it.  The conversation continues:
MWFC: A lot of what you like is all flavors blended together in kind of a soupy mess. Like what I’m going to feed you through a straw in your old age.
Me: Thank the Cods for the NutriBullet!
MWFC: Zackly. Tasty swill.
Me: Great, now everything you feed me will be called “Tasty Swill”.
We're having a dry grilled steak and some over-cooked sweet potato fries and charred Brussels sprouts for dinner!  In fact, I think I'll dry-rub Poopy-Poppy's steak with some Ex-Lax!
Be safe and enjoy your weekend!

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