Monday, December 17, 2012

Typhoid Fatass; Day Four...

What an adventure these past four days have been...okay, not really.  It can get really boring when you're sick.  Here's my photo collage taken from my sick-couch:

I call this collage "Why is this cat so close to me and is she going to scratch my eyeballs out?"


Why is she still staring at me?


If I shut my eyes, maybe she'll go away...


Make her go away!!


HA! You stupid dog, I am CAT...resistance is futile...


Futile, I say!


Now, look deep into my eyes...



You are mine and I rule your pathetic little dog life...MMMMWWWWAAAAAAAA!

Let's talk about Sunday night.  Project-Poppy had been working diligently on her holiday project most of the day.  She'd mentioned that our little mouse friends had become very brazen and were drinking out of the cat's water bowl right in front of Poppy's eyes.  Time to refresh the "Sleep-Easy" mouse traps.

A few hours later, around 9:30, we went downstairs to see if we had any "sleeping" mice; we didn't but what we did have was a seriously clogged sewer drain.  Ah, the joys of homo-ownership.

I kind of remember watching my Dad unclog our sewer drain once when I was little, but when he started yelling cause he was finding things you're not supposed to flush down the toilet, I ran away. Fortunately, we have his very old drain snake.  Look, it's so old' I think it's made out of depression glass.


Anyway, just to make sure I did it right, I consulted with my Internets.  Boy, we've come along way in unclogging sewer drains.  Now all you need is a little attachment that goes on the power-washer we don't own and within seconds, no more clog.  But I digress, let's go back to the 50's where I left off...

So this snake thing has instructions on it, but the writing is so small, neither one of us can read it.  There are pictures on it, but they don't make any sense at all...even Depression-Era-Poppy can't make heads or tails of them.

Oh, did I mention that Pooh-Pooh-Poppy doesn't like anything to do with clogged drains or anything involving poop?  Yeah, I'm thinking she's not going to be
changing my diaper when I'm old and feeble, but that's where Sydney and Annie come in...

Okay, so after about an hour of trying to feed that stupid snake-thing down the drain with no luck, I gave up and we both agreed we should call a plumber.  Dejected, I went back upstairs.

This just bugged me, though, so I continued searching my Internets.  I just don't get it, this unclogging thing shouldn't be that difficult.  I'm a Lesbian, for Cod's sakes; this junk should come natural to me.  So I say to Poppy who is now researching plumbers on her Internets, "This just shouldn't be so hard.  I'm going to give it another shot."  By midnight, I'd pulled out some really gross stuff, had Potty-Chair-Poppy flush the toilet and BAM...clog be gone! YES!

After I conquered the drain, it was time to go to bed.  So I'm just about ready to jump into bed when I see a big wet spot on the bed, up by my pillow.  WTF??

Oh, we've been down this road before.  As you know, our little Pee-Pants-Jax is a rescue dog and we know that most rescue dogs come with some issues.  One of Jax's issues is she hates to go outside and pee in the rain.  Because I was sick and not paying attention to her ques, she pee'd on the bed...on my side, no less!  What's up with that...I'm the Alpha, she's supposed to do that stuff to Omega-Poppy, not me!

Look how ashamed she looks...


Back to the Internets we go...A little baking soda, a little vinegar and all is good.  Except that every piece of bedding needs to be washed and I'm still not feeling well and don't want to go to the laundromat to use the large capacity machines.  I've spent all day washing the bedding...

Being sick bites!

Lucky for me, I'm going back to work tomorrow!!

Later.

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