There's a fungus amungus...

My Archie-Hikers have yet to adorn my feets. Tighter-Than-Fatass'-Pants-Poppy has yet to cave and let me buy my Archies. Even this, that I hid inside Mean-Poppy's computer, barely got a rise out of her:



I continue to be depressed. Sigh...

So check this out, I saw it on our walk to work on Friday.



I'm thinking of sauteing it up and feeding it to Poopy-Poppy for not letting me get my Archie-Hikers. Hmmm, I wonder how much I'll get from the life insurance? I bet it's more than $218!

Shoppy-Poppy was sitting in her "spending chair" this morning looking at the CB2 catalog. She found a rug she really liked for only $229! Gee, wonder what I could buy for $229?? Oh yeah!

Yesterday, I baked another loaf of bread. Since Fatass and LuvBacon aren't eating the white food, I wanted to make this for Seester-Kathy, et al. Not sure what happened, but it should have been a little puffier.



Smelled good. Had a great sourdough taste. It behaved the way it was supposed to all the way until I took it out of the oven. I consulted Bread-Guru-Tia (sorry Sensei-John, you don't have a BlackBerry) Since this has happened to her, she thinks that I didn't stretch the dough enough. We'll see what happens on the next loaf.

Note to Sydney: I know I'm supposed to hook the sista up with some starch, but I can't until I can produce a better product. Soon though!

Last night we went over to Seester-Kathy's to exchange Christmas presents. They got us a very, very cool telescope. I'm not even a little bit interested in looking at stars and planets, but I can't wait to look in my neighbor's windows! Oh for Cod's sakes, I'm kidding...kind of.

From there we headed to Nick's Rockaway in Pacifica for dinner and dancing. Nick's has been around for a thousand years. Old school seafood restaurant and a great bar. This is a very local hangout so there's a 99% chance that Kathy, Darryll or I will see someone we know there; we did.

Anyway, I had chicken livers sauteed in bacon and onions. Poppy has a scallop dish. Dad had a big fat piece of prime rib. Seester-Kathy had the fillet Mignon and Bro-n-Law-Darryll had the stuffed pork chop. Poppy, Dad and I took our leftovers home. I was carrying all of them. Went to have my chicken livers today and found that I had a big chunk of prime rib. Guess Dad has the chicken livers that he made icky face at last night. Ha ha!

Here is the last known cigarette machine in San Mateo County:



Chow, bellas!

Date Night...Oh Yeah!

Poppy and I are so excited. Why? Yep, it's Kecky Date Night. We've got Auntie-Kathy and Uncle-Darryll watching Jax-The-Cheese-Connesewer tonight so there won't be any time limit on our date night.

We've been throwing around a few ideas for date night. We talked about sushi but decided to save that for a special occasion cause Poppy and I can eat $$ a $$ lot $$ of $$ sushi. I have been craving Buffalo wings for the past few days. I wonder why? Hmmm, do you notice any similarities between the color of the below two objects?





I do! I'm so patiently waiting for my Archie-Spice's to arrive. Every night we come home I look for the familiar white box with blue writing. But it's never there. I get depressed all over again. Why, why, why aren't my Archie-Spice's on the doorstep? Heavy sigh... Say, maybe they'll be there tonight when we get home!!

If we go for Buffalo wings we'll be going to Parkside Tavern. I know that will be a little expensive too. So, we decided to stay in and make our own Buffalo wings. This is supposed to be a very authentic recipe and it's INFINITY NOM!

Here's the recipe:

BUFFALO WINGS

The Sauce

Of the ingredients below there is 1 key, beyond the obvious Louisiana hot sauce, the white vinegar. This sauce will be hot for the uninitiated. So, if you like them hotter than add 1 dried and ground habanero pepper. This should make enough sauce for 40 wings.

Party bag of wings, frozen
6 ounces Louisiana Hot Sauce
1/2 stick of butter
1 teaspoon cayenne pepper
1 teaspoon fresh ground black pepper
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 tablespoon white vinegar
1 tablespoon lemon juice
2 tablespoon sugar (we're on the low-carb thing so I'm not putting this in)
2 teaspoon Dijon mustard

Cooking the wings:

The wings are best when crisp and dry. Deep-frying is popular. But grilling works even better. Grilling is less messy and healthier. Tip - Don't bother turning each individual wing. Simply use a spatula and "Flip". Randomness will insure that all sides will get their turn facing towards the heat source since you will be turning your wings every 15 minutes.

Place the frozen wings on the grill, set for indirect heating.
Grill for 1 hour 15 minutes turning every 15 minutes.
Cook until crisp and dry.

Saucing the wings:

Put all the ingredients in a pot and heat it up until the butter is melted. Transfer to a big bowl.

Take the wings off the grill and place into the bowl of sauce. Using tongs, submerge 4-5 wings at a time in the sauce. Remove wings to serving platter and poor any remaining sauce directly onto wings.

I serve with Bleu Cheese dressing and celery.

Our date night will now consist of going to a new-to-us-grocery store; the Super-Lucky's on Sloat. We're going to get two carts and go up and down the isles crashing into each other. Life is good!

Have a great weekend!

Shoes, Wedgie and Popcorn Fun-Facts

Well, I was hoping when Tight-Wad-Poppy read my blog yesterday, the Artchie Hiker's would be on their way to me. But no such luck. Hmmm, must think of some other way to get my Artchie's...

Okay, on to something less depressing...food!



Dinner for Fatass and LuvBacon was meat and greens. Without getting into much detail, we are in the process of changing our diet to a lower carbohydrate one. Boss-Karen's husband, George turned me on to the book so if you're interested in the science behind this, and are highly edumacated, I recommend the book Good Calories Bad Calories by Gary Taubes. If you would like the Terra Nova-graduate-dumbed-down version, I can would strongly recommend the book Why We Get Fat And What To Do About It by Gary Taubes

It's the basic principle of keeping your insulin level steady so that means no refined carbs and keeping your total "good" carb intake to about 20 grams a day. For me, it is about losing weight, but also keeping myself heart healthy.

These books will change the way you look at the food you eat and the myth that has been ingrained in all of us about health and eating. I'm still having trouble wrapping my brain around it. Kind of like when I realized that there was no God, but that's a whole other can of worms.

Hey, guess who came for a vissy this morning?



Yep, my BFF-Lil-Wedgie-Guru-Mike. What a long story this is...The problem: the safety valve on Lil-Wedgie needs to be replaced. The reason BFF-Mike has been visiting us so much was to try to avoid this fix. So here's the deal...Lil-Wedgie is a tired old girl. She's so old she doesn't have any part, model or serial numbers on her.

Depression-Era-Poppy tells me they didn't need part numbers and such in the old days. You'd just get your quill and ink bottle, draw a picture and take it to the blacksmith. Easy-squeezy!

Anyway, BFF-Mike has to take the valve out and have it refurbished. This could take anywhere from 2-5 weeks. When he reported all of this to the home warranty company, the rep sent all this to their purchasing department to decide if we should go ahead with the fix or replace Lil-Wedgie completely. I know this because the rep called me and we talked. She said she couldn't really understand my BFF-Lil-Wedgie-Guru-Mike so wanted to go over the details with me.

I told the gal that Lil-Wedgie is an antique so it would need to be appraised if it were to be replaced. It's likely worth over $5,000. Research-Poppy is looking into the value of Lil-Wedgie right now. If we don't agree with their replacement, they will give us the cash value of the replacement. I fear this is the beginning of a very long process. Both Depression-Era-Poppy and I want to keep our Lil-Wedgie so this is going to get pretty interesting.

So my very dear and long-time friend (since I was 17), Jeannie has this fun-facts post on her Facebook every day. You might see why she's my friend, but that's beside the point. This is what I read today:



New and improved for 2011, it's....The Return Of Fun Facts!
Did you know that the fur of the binturong, also known as the "Asian Bear Cat," smells like popcorn? The scent is believed to come from a gland located near the tail. Yummy...would you like butter flavoring with that?

Okay, I had to comment on this. Ever smell old people? They smell like popcorn. Know why? Yeah, old pee-pee. I think that Asian Bear Cat just has a frequent urination problem.

That's all for today.

Later!

Boring...

I'm afraid my life, at the moment, is boring. Fatass and LuvBacon are busy trying to lose their "Autumn 15". It used to be called "Freshman 15" but they are entering the Autumn of their lives so, there you go. Forever-Young-Poppy hates it when I use the term "Autumn of their lives." I think it reminds her of one of those Geritol commercials. Whatever happened to Geritol? "My wife, I think I'll keep her." What a jerk!

Okay, let's talk about something very serious...It is no secret that I have a shoe obsession. Here are my current objects of desire:



They are Frye Archie Hikers. The color is Spice. It's between that and the Cognac:



I want them and I want them bad! Bad, like a freebasing-crack-cocaine-black-tar-heroin-smoking-addict needs a fix. They cost $218 at Zappos.com or $217 at Amazon.com. Depression-Era-Poppy just can't find her way to approve such a purchase. She told me to put them on my wish list. Mean, mean Pooh-Pooh-Head-Poppy! I've tried every trick in the book too..."There is only one pair left in stock!" She thinks I'm lying. "It's the last pair of shoes I'll ever buy!" She really thinks I'm lying (and she's right). "I'll give up 10 pairs of my other babies for adoption." She laughed at that one. I wonder how much one of my kidney's would be worth? If Fatass wasn't so fat and old, she could try selling her body on the street corner. Stop laughing, she could be serious.

Can you have maternal pangs over a pair of shoes? I think you can. I need to talk to my friend-and-sister-shoe-hoarder-Jeanette. Maybe she'll talk me down. Probably not, she'll probably figure out a way for me to get them. Heh, heh, heh.

Wish me luck!

Shoes Glorious Shoes!

Holidays are over...

New Years Resolutions are in full force. Let's see how long they last.

Yesterday was a day of baking for me. First I tried my hand at a completely whole-wheat loaf of bread. Came out pretty good. Unfortunately, I'm still having trouble with my oven. Looks like another service call is in my future.





Then we took Jax-The-Cheese-Connesewer for a walk on the beach. Sure was fun...



Now to the good stuff. Had a recipe from Food & Wine magazine for kind of an Egg-McKecky Muffin recipe. Infinity NOM! Buttermilk biscuits, LuvBacon's house-cured and smoked bacon, fried egg and cheddar cheese drizzled with a wee bit of maple syrup.



May all your NY Resolutions stick until at least March!

Project Saturday...

After having a few relaxing days off, time to get back to working on Kasa Kecky. Project-Poppy, bless her heart, is making our home lives very efficient.

This weekend's projects consisted of making our cabinets more spacial. First everything had to come out of the cabinets. That was a lot like moving all over again.



Then Project-Poppy started on the cabinet inserts:



The finished product:



You may be asking yourself what I was doing the entire time Project-Poppy was working on the cabinets. Well, I took a part this stupid fan that I hate and cleaned it. Note to self: Vinegar is an acid and will eat the finish off of some stuff.



Then I made some bread. I'm trying my luck with a whole-wheat bread. Trying to give up the white food and cutting back on the boozy for the new year.



So after a long day of projects, who feels like cooking? Not me. Pizza!!



Not sure what is on the agenda today, but I need to get out of Kasa Kecky for a while. I feel like playing pool!

Have a great Sunday!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

Well, this New Year is starting off very well. Guess who is running like a charm? Yep, Loser Grande!



Not only that, but what a perfect opportunity to give the Loser a cleaning. Particular-Poppy put the contents back in the fridge so everything is filed correctly...in her mind. Like the dishwasher, I now have to follow a strict food-filing system cause with Particular-Poppy, it's all about systems! The strange thing I've noticed over the years is that our fridge contains mostly condiments. Heavy on the pickled products. Hmmm.

Okay, so our New Years dinna consisted of our favorites...for me, Kraft Macaroni and Cheese Family Style Deluxe with peas and for Poppy, a whole dungeness crab, salad and a side of the mac-n-cheese. OMG so NOMMMMMMM!





The following subject is not for the faint of heart, but it's a story that must be told...

This is Jax's Butt:



Bad, stinky things come from it. For those of you who have a dog, you will know what I'm talking about when I say that a certain glandular event happens in a dog's butt. We've all seen the familiar sight of a dog dragging its bee-hind along the ground and that can only mean one thing, you need a vet tech, latex gloves, some petroleum jelly and a service that costs about $20 to perform.

Anyway, I-Can-Do-That-Kelly figures she can do this service for free and had the vet tech show her how to do it. Why would I want to do this stinky job you ask? Because one of the special things we learned about Jax shortly after adopting her is that she has some over-productive glandular issues so we need to perform the service on a regular basis and I ain't putting out $20 ever stinkin time!

So, we're sitting there last night enjoying our NYE champagne and Jax decided to let go a little NYE treat...on Poppy's pants. This means it's "bath time" for Jax and her stinky ass. In the process of picking up the little stink-pot, I knocked over my champagne. I left Poppy to clean it up...while she was cleaning up my sticky champagne mess, she knocked hers over too.



Jax's butt smells like a rose...our chairs smell like the day after a boozy party!

So a couple of weeks ago, you may recall that Fatass and LuvBacon went to buy fat pants. While at the softer side of Sears, I purchased some unmentionables...that I will mention now. When I left the store, I thought I heard that beep, beep, beep alarm go off. So I stood there waiting for some store clerk to come out and tackle me, but nothing happened.

I put one of my brand-new unmentionable-mentionables on this morning. Something sure felt funny...


Never fear, I-Can-Do-That-Kelly can fix it! Nothing a pair of pliers can't take care of. Although, when I showed Poppy my unmentionable-mentionable, she said she thought ink comes out of the plastic thing if you try to take it apart. So what, like safe cracking...a cyanide pill will pop? Nope, nothing leaked out, although, maybe I can market something with Jax's glandular stink!

Well today is another project day at Kasa Kecky. Should be fun...for Project-Poppy!



Glad I'm not doing it. I'll send a pic once it's done. I think I'll go clean something.

Chow!